Forty-five poems written between 1992 and 2015, arranged by era.
Part I · The High School Era (1992–1996)
“SANCTUARY” AND “ELEMENTARY SCHOOL” MEDLEY
I remember a place, a fine place gone.
Away from it all, lost in time.
Safe, warm, and happy den,
How I wish I was back there then.
I remember a time, the happiest days of my life.
When all was right, and the sun was bright.
Precious, free, and ambitious youth—
“Under your pillow with that tooth!”
We would wake with dawn on weekday mornings,
Singing our songs of school-time glories,
And bidding our parents happy goodbyes
We waited for the bus to take us…
To elementary school we went our way,
Planning the ways we’d pass the day,
And thinking of the games we’d all play
While Mrs. Armstrong watched first grade.
With this Pencil, Anything is Possible
With this pencil, anything is possible.
There are tales I could weave you
Would never believe.
Stories I could write where the blind
Would find sight,
And legends of men who could move
Oceans.
And I can move your emotions!
I can lighten your day, gloomy and gray,
Or put you under duress—
Or summon sympathy from someone
Merciless!
I can make you laugh, force a sigh.
Or make you cry, and you wonder why?
Because all this can be done
Thanks to one thing, just one:
With this pencil, anything is possible.
Overture (The Eclipse Saga)
A vision of long ago
Intrudes before our eyes.
It’s a dream of liberty,
Of the birds in the skies…
To proclaim independence–
An act to set them free–
One man in the midst of many
Had the nerve to be.
He saw what needed to be done,
And knew he was the “Chosen One.”
Who by God, Earth, Sun, and Moon
Would triumph or suffer doom.
From each sought he words of wisdom.
He sought God in His holy kingdom.
He caught Sun with his fire and light,
And visited Moon in her realm of night.
He journeyed from the heavens to the land of his birth,
And climbed the Great Mountain to become one with Earth.
Alas, at last, the Lords’ Wyrds were his:
Supremacy and Balance, Reality and Romance.
With these could he attain his goal:
To finally set free his soul.
Atop Aveleshar, the Crown of the World,
He awaited Paradox, as Earth had foretold.
And on that high peak he fought with his life,
For freedom’s sake, to end all strife.
Peace was returned, balance was restored,
And he was reborn as the fifth Lord.
THE BRIDGE (The Eclipse Saga)
There is a story of this name, written in the same period: read it in prose.
I’ve tried to reach beyond
And cross that field of fire.
But there’s always been a gap between
Contention and desire.
Across this abyss lies freedom
For my heart, soul, and mind.
Beyond lies a kingdom
Of people joyous and kind.
Lost in my thoughts I look to Sun.
His radiance is the spirit of clarity.
I see the connection: it lies within.
The key is to strive for integrity.
Any obstacle can be crossed
By this bridge of morality.
I will find what once was lost:
Aristotle’s Aristocracy.
I stand now at the farthest edge,
Exultant in my pride.
I smile as I fall off the ledge
And reach the other side.
I take a look at the vicinity,
And surprised, find it the same.
Except now it has a greater quality,
Now that rationality is my aim.
UNDER THE MOUNTAIN (The Eclipse Saga)
There is a story of this name, written in the same period: read it in prose.
Toward the east the Mountain lies,
Towering high before my eyes.
Wandering white waters surround
The stones and shrubs that color the ground.
Toward the Mountain I set sail,
For underneath is Druid’s Vale.
And there with Earth will I converse,
Should not these winds be so adverse.
The sun is gone, the sky is black.
I throw down anchor, set sails slack.
The wind is fierce, the waves restless.
Death is close, and my ship defenseless.
The onslaught of rain tears the sails.
A flash of lightning strikes the rails.
The mast is broken by the gales,
And the fiery sea pulls me under.
I wake on the shore of an alien land,
Laying bruised and broken on the sand.
A citadel of stone stands straight and tall,
Watching the Lords and over all.
I follow a path through the mountainside.
Earth’s presence lights the grounds.
I behold the valley that lies within:
Nature’s beauty and nature’s sounds.
At the World’s Root a woman stands,
Dressed in shades of green and brown.
She looks at me and moves her hands,
Motioning for my approach.
“My child,” says she, “do not fear,
For it is I who have brought you here.
Your quest is noble, your plan is wise;
Your failure will mean the Lords’ demise.
“As is told in tales of old,
Sun and Moon will commune.
And even God in his halls of gold
Will be stricken down in ruin.
“The mighty Eclipse that I so defied
Has never been before so deified.
My power ebbs, yours is strong.
Only you can right this wrong.
“Stand now at the highest peak
And forever hold your ground.
For you will find that what you seek
Has, in fact, already been found.”
She turns and leaves through the trees,
Leaving me to climb alone.
Earth’s energy helps me along,
To achieve the crest of this mighty stone.
ECLIPSE (The Eclipse Saga)
There is a story of this name, written in the same period: read it in prose.
Among celestial bodies,
Apart from mortal limits,
Dwell Sun and Moon with the stars.
Sun with his fiery light,
Flames of understanding.
Moon in her realm of night,
Argent beams surrounding.
From both ends of space
They converge with great grace:
Sun and Moon as One.
Order is broken,
Chaos released.
The Great One has spoken;
Understanding has ceased.
A balance of power.
An ultimatum of contradiction.
A paradox.
Reality combines with illusion,
Truth with lies.
All around lies confusion
And the sounds of children’s cries.
Clouds glide restlessly across the cosmic union.
Rain hammers the earth, a symbol of dissolution.
Fields are razed in flames despite the drenching torrents.
Fire burns the land, a token of abhorrence.
Leaves are ripped from trees by the forceful gusts.
Wind tears at nature, signs of broken trust.
Oppression rages against Earth in all of its forms,
A symbol of freedom about to be born.
Spawn of Moon and Sun:
Dark and Light.
Subtlety and Honesty.
Everything and Nothing:
Omnipresent.
Invisible.
Unknown but all knowing:
Without answer.
Without question…
It destroys.
PARADOX (The Eclipse Saga)
I watch Sun’s fire die,
See Moon swallowed whole.
Like a black snake it approaches me,
Hungry for my soul.
I stand alone at the top of the peak
Awaiting absolute negation.
I arm myself with a rediscovered weapon:
Mental integration.
Denying correlation, Paradox confronts me.
Defying comprehension, I cannot see.
A black hole of two wholes, A and B now made C,
Is this nothing from which nothing can be set free.
Like Sun and Moon
We unite.
Paradox dark,
Myself light.
My fingers grow numb,
My eyes go blind–
What is happening
To my body and mind…!?
LOST (The Eclipse Saga)
I stand in the darkness,
Lost for words.
Understand my weakness.
My eyes are like swords
Of steel, cold and keen.
I am so lost for words
To tell what I’ve seen.
Deep within metallic walls,
A cold fire is ablaze.
I wander lost through the maze,
Amazed.
My wanderlust led by wonder,
I discover the heart of this place.
White fire,
No longer cold steel.
I do not tire,
It seems I’ve grown stronger.
I’m surprised at how bold I feel.
Eyes wide open,
I see the light.
So close to the heart;
It all seems so right.
Love, life, liberty.
I lose touch with reality.
My desires so dire
Have been relieved by the fire.
My questions are gone,
The answers are won.
My despair is forgotten,
For I have been begotten.
I am released,
Remade,
Reborn.
Given new life for the life I gave.
I am master of myself,
No longer the slave.
He stood alone atop that great stone,
His broken body sunburnt and windblown.
Until at last from those seeds he had sown,
Life sprung from his body fully grown.
REBIRTH (The Eclipse Saga)
I arise as if from a sleep
On a bed familiar to me.
Relieved to live, I begin to weep.
Success is mine! My people are free!
I turn out from the bed and leave the room.
Outside stand God, Earth, Sun, and Moon.
Earth steps forward to take my hand, and says:
“Live free, brother, you have saved the land!
No longer are you a child, now you are a man.
I knew you were pure and without vice.
I dub thee Lord, and thine name, Paradise.”
From our eyes the vision fades.
We return to our work with new resolve.
The dream will last, ‘till the end of our days.
Reality is a puzzle we must strive to solve.
CLOSET
So many broken promises
So many white lies
Where I’d tell them my story
Show the sparkle in my eyes
Doing my best
For I’m better than the rest
And what’s one more lie
In a pattern so complex
They wouldn’t know the difference anyway
And neither do I. Now—
“Do you know what I mean?”
“Yes, of course I understand.”
Just another untruth
Of a slightly different brand
Trying to make them feel good
Trying to help them up
Just another untruth
To fill the silver cup
Except now it’s overflowing
And it’s spilling all over
My closet’s my soul salvation
It is lord over my life
It’s a maze of my own creation
Intimate as my wife
My closet’s a limitation
I can’t know where it will lead
It’s a law of variation
From which I can’t be freed
How do I change their colors
From black to white to clear?
Conforming to my lies
Gets easier year by year!
Sun embrace me
Tightly tie my tongue
To speak a lie one more time
Would be a story sung
But there’s mystery in truth too
I must learn…
Aquae Aeternarum
It seemed an impossibility, almost like a dream.
Our ambitions pooled together, and formed a flowing stream.
We took strength from the growing waters and maintained our tact.
And even the might of tragedy could not abolish our pact.
Never surrender your hope.
Never let yourself fall.
Whenever life grows dim
Remember what you saw.
You are the unconquerable sea,
Without keel and endless.
From tidal shorelines to silent depths
You can do what’s right and best.
I swim in these waters of eternity,
Mile after mile through the silver waves,
And find success through tenacity
While pertinacity paves my way.
We led each new day with open minds,
Each of us with our reflections—
Contributions to the ever-growing oceans—
And even when the waves would not be parted,
We sailed the sea in unsinkable ships
And continued what we’d started.
When the time was right,
We looked at our past.
We knew we had finished;
We had won the fight.
We had crossed the sea
And reached the light.
But the water was still there
And would always be there,
As a reminder to where we had been,
What we had seen,
And what we had known.
Beyond the Dream’s Horizon
I’m addicted to love’s illusions
I need to find some truth
I need answers to my questions
I need to find some proof
Reality lies with the morning sun
Whose sultry sphere is slowly rising
I need to reach out to it
Beyond the dream’s horizon
It’s an array of mixed feelings
It’s a spell that takes me away
It’s a host of a hundred sensations
That bring color to this realm of gray
I escape the world of worry and doubt
And find refuge in this peaceful place
Where loving you is what life’s about
And you are perfect pristine grace.
Every time you smile
I must smile as well.
Yours is a miracle;
Mine that I might tell…
For within the depths of my heart
I conceal the passion I hold for you
But of all the emotions that I feel
The ones I present are but few
Because words don’t flow from uncertain hearts
And only the music of their dreams can be heard
Like the songs of singing larks
It says more than can be said by any single word
I see you through a magical lens
And begin to doubt your existence
Perhaps all we’ll be is a couple of friends
Maybe this is just coincidence
I watch from behind an invisible curtain
Far away in a state of rue
And sing this song until I’m certain
That my love for you is true
You look at me.
I look at you.
Will it ever be?
It’s so easy to dream…
Dawn Risen
A light shines bright from a distant pair of eyes.
Music flows forth from this radiant sunrise.
Song that lifts the soul, soothes the suffering cries,
I’ve spoken truly; I’ll conform to my lies…
I’ll be first to admit that I’m not innocent.
My word was like a contract written in sand.
But, oh, when I learned what that light meant,
I just couldn’t understand.
Now I sit in the rays of a different light.
In many ways it’s the same, but not quite.
I miss what I’ve lost, I should have won.
I never knew what I’d had until it was gone.
You
Whenever I think of you,
I am filled with happiness.
A joy impossible to describe
Except for that it is pure.
Your smile warms my heart,
And heals the deepest hurt.
A glad face among so many sad-
You keep the spirit in our lives.
Although I’ve never met you
I’m sure you’re quite remarkable.
And if you would take me as a friend
I would be in heaven.
Dawn, to Dawn Again
I put a long day’s journey aside
And lay myself beside a tree,
Whose excellent foliage provides for me
Cool shade from the sun.
Burning Eye
Flaming Blade
Sole auspice in an azure sky
Its augury discerns truth from lie.
Dawn to dusk: Sun’s beauty expressed.
It’s a beacon of stark reality.
Until disappearing to lands far west,
And leaves us to conjecturality.
I open my eyes to starlit heaven
And pick out the moon’s argent bloom.
Definite and defiant impending doom,
She promises loss.
Sin Sphere
Sooth Shroud
Sole reason for our fear,
She blinds our purpose to persevere.
Dusk to Dawn: Moon’s dark realm.
I dream of shadows
Until the sun rises on the horizon
And returns me to truth.
LADY OF THE SUN
Brighter than the sun on a summer solstice clear—
Her smile beaming brilliance in a blinding brisant sear—
I approach this ravishing radiance
And burn when I move too near.
But I love her far too much to turn and yield to fear!
Wish
The child stares out the window and sees
Bare streets in a cold and wintry night.
As a shooting star slowly looms low,
She wishes upon its burning light.
A handful of hope held on high,
She dreams of a white Christmas.
The three previous years went on by
Without, withholding her wishes.
Have faith—believe,
Your dreams will come true!
All or none,
Anything can be done,
It’s just got to get through to you!
Have you any hope?
You’ve got it or you don’t.
A little won’t go far!
A wish is pursued; follow your star.
Close your eyes and wish!
The star lingers in the heavens
Like a firefly in the trees.
A creature of magic, it listens
To their dreams and fantasies.
Granting others’ wishes is its own
For from their fancies has it grown
To soar with the sun and moon.
A star’s wish is another’s boon.
The child stares out the window and sees
Snow covered streets glow in night’s shadow.
Thinking of the joy tomorrow will bring
She wishes…
Memories of Green
The old man rests upon the knoll
Overlooking a razed and ravaged plain
Once there was a field of golden grain
But now only scorched earth and ash remain
Images flash by the old man’s mind’s eye
Memories of green
A forgotten land
…Then the Usurper, the Stalker unseen
Often called the Ravishing Fiend
Commands millions of systems, with programs corrupt
And spawns decades of chaos, volcanoes erupt
And mindless machines with weapons galore
Lay waste to cities
Bloodstain the shore…
The sky turned black, the sun gone cold
A million young faces worn haggard and old
A tree struck down, a river run dry
No answers to the questions that only asked why
An abandoned park, dilapidated homes
An unsinging lark and unfinished poems
A fly without wings, shoelaces untied
A steel and stone vault with its door open wide
The old man is freed from his dream
For he hears the sound of moving metal
And sees a creature of iron mettle
Electronic eyes and synthetic ears
Six steel arms with razorblade shears
Born of nightmares
Built from fears
From its body protrude poisoned spears
The man tries to run but falls down the hill
The machine laughs maniacally and closes for the kill
Surging from its torso a spear flies true
Toward the man’s head and right on through
The man lies unmoving
The old man lies dead
A steel and stone vault with its door open wide
A fly without wings, shoelaces untied
An unsinging lark and unfinished poems
An abandoned park, dilapidated homes
No answers to the questions that only asked why
A tree struck down, a river run dry
A million young faces worn haggard and old
The sky turned black, the sun gone cold
The Star of Azkaroth
A tale is told of the days of old,
Of a jeweler named Azkaroth.
He worked with great skill and labored until
He’d cut the most wonderful of gems.
Men came from afar to admire his star—
This beautiful diamond flower.
So great was his fame that kings knew his name
And he grew in both wealth and in power.
In time he grew old and his blood ran cold,
And men all sought for his treasure.
But while bed-ridden he’d had his gem hidden
In a cave near a river of azure.
The kings all cried when they heard he had died,
For he’d never given up his great work.
As generations go by there are those who still try
To recover the lost star of Azkaroth.
Going Home
It’s ten after seven and the day’s getting late.
Why must I always race against fate?
Today has gone great from my point of view.
I had pancakes for breakfast, and tonight I’ll have stew.
I’m ten miles from home, and that’s not far by car.
But to return I’ll have to run, and after five I know I’ll tire.
I’m not supposed to be here, my parents have not been told.
When I get back I’ll be grounded for having been so bold.
I have an hour and a half. Is that enough time?
I have the endurance; I’m still in my prime.
But it’s sad to leave and sadder still to return,
I run my first mile, see my error, and turn.
There are so many things I think about:
Philosophy, religion, the future, my mission.
Sweat runs down my face, each breath utters an oath:
I’ll finish this damned race; let it signal my growth.
The time is now eight, and I’m almost there.
I feel like the tortoise that raced the hare.
Around the next corner there lurks my lair—
I step through the door and mutter a prayer…
INDIFFERENT TEARS
I stare into the mirror through indifferent tears,
Wondering how my life has changed over the years.
Once a child, with children as peers
I now know love, hate, and have doubts and fears.
But through these tears a purpose shines clear.
I need but survive, need simply persevere.
It’s no use anymore, pretending to be immortal,
To find a balance between being impulsive and rational.
I sometimes wish I could put it behind me—
But I do not forget, nor do I forgive,
Because I’ll search for the answer as long as I’ll live—
What I need is to find myself a bridge.
There’s yet harmony in the world, all is not mad—
I keep denying despair, though despite never fights fair.
I am what I am, how can that not be helped?
I cherish my freedom, though it’s not without price.
Nothing can be perfect in an imperfect world.
MORTAL LOVE
Time passes.
Again it happens.
Again!
Hoping it’s something new.
Hoping it will last.
Hoping for once it’s true.
Oh, how can I stand it?
How can I?
Love is supposed to be good.
And it is—
But it’s also very sad.
Yes indeed.
When my love leaves,
She takes a piece of my heart.
I have one last piece
And I give it to you.
Please don’t leave.
I beg you, don’t.
For the Love of Strangers
What can I call this strange sensation—
This “stranger effect” on my imagination?
I search for a rational explanation
But nothing satisfies my inquisition.
Listen, here she comes again!
Shadows dance upon her skin.
I wonder which fire burns within:
Purest white or blackest sin?
The street-lamp sets her face aglow.
Who is she? I need to know!
Silent, I let these feelings grow—
I will tell her ‘fore I go.
Following lest I lose resolve,
I wonder how these things evolve
And why I get myself involved—
This mystery just can’t be solved!
I waited too long and her shadow grew.
A hungry cat stalked the avenue.
She was gone when at last I knew
I’d wanted to say “I love you.”
Fly Away
The days are getting longer
Things are now so clear
Once this world was right
Now it’s getting wronger
Used to be able to fight
No longer. Now I fear
The problems have become heavier
The stress has been building high
Too much to learn in too little time
Now I’ll take my magic feather and wash all that grime
Should have learned earlier
But it’s time I learned to fly
Fly away, kid
It’s time you saw the world
Remember what you saw, kid
Don’t forget what you were told
Fly away, boy
Leave everything behind
It’s too late to turn back, boy
You cannot change your mind
Because it’s the beginning and not the end
I left without saying goodbye
I arrived in Arizona just this morning
And the sun was beautiful in the bright blue sky
I’ve noticed people are friendly here and
I’m glad I’ve learned to fly
Damn I’m glad to have learned to fly
I’ve smiled for the first time
In what seems like ages
The land’s put food in my mouth
But winter’s coming soon
So I’ll go where the birds go
I think I’ll fly south
This bird is free
Fly away, young man
There is so much more to see
Fly away, good man
Now you think you’re free
Fly away, young man
And keep singing your song
Fly away, good man
You don’t know you’re wrong
I’ve slept under the stars
And shared others’ meals
Living free is not what it seems
Or even how it feels
I could really use a shower now and
Was it so bad before?
Was it really so bad?
It’s been twenty years now and
The days have become so short
I wish I had lived my life fully
For now there’s nothing of any worth
Only my wings
And I fly alone
I fly alone
Fly away, my friend
It’s time you left the world
Fly away, my friend
It seems you’ve grown old
Fly away, my friend
Fly with the birds
Fly away, you poor fool
Remember your own words
and regret.
Part II · The South Korea / U.S. Army Era (1997–1999)
A Song of Three Parts
I. The Lonely Man
Have you seen the lonely man, so weary of walking alone?
You know, he looks like me.
He’s searching for a woman, the woman he will marry.
His heavy heart is too great a burden for he alone to carry.
Sometimes he stops to take a rest and gaze into the sky.
If you listen to your heart you’ll find that man is I.
II. Gazing Into The Sky
I envision her face with crystal clear clarity,
Especially her eyes’ softly sad severity.
Her sweet smile is a worth-waiting-for rarity
That glows with mirth and the warmth of charity.
She is curious and concerned, but never overbearing.
She listens to my words (she’s never simply staring).
I have never met a woman so sweet or as caring.
I love her for who she is and not for what she’s “wearing.”
III. Discovery
Some say search within your heart and you will find the one,
So with my mind and heart united I was guided toward the sun.
My sojourn is now ended, for my chosen path was true:
I followed my heart’s directions, and they led me straight to you.
The future is uncertain, but I know one thing for sure:
My feelings have never felt so honest or as pure.
LADY OF GRACE
The avatar of all virtue, she casts away the shadows.
Faithfully stalwart, she holds true to her values.
She stands alone where many fall to their knees,
My lady of grace.
Her honor is untarnished, her honesty unblemished.
As the epitome of kindness, patience, and passion,
She never sacrifices fidelity for fashion,
My lady of grace.
There is no crown to fit this queen.
No heart beats that is so pristine,
No soul so clean—none that I have ever seen—
My lady of grace.
Love: Then and Forever
It was something I had never before felt—
A sensation of surprise, like
Dealing an ace after four have been dealt.
It was the color of your eyes
Returning my love.
What I’d thought impossible was possible,
Illusions disbelieved, finding
Only love’s fire could find me vulnerable.
I’d never before believed
In an entrance to Eden.
So now, these lessons learned, we walk hand-in-hand,
Moving toward the day when I
Place upon your finger the wedding band:
Gold to seal our love forever,
That even death dare not part.
You and I
I was the star-struck dreamer lost in a maze of blind ambition,
Always looking to the skies to find the answers to my dreams.
But I took a clue when I first saw you
And realized what good love could do,
And I set my heart on the one path that was true.
You know that I love you, let me make you mine.
Tell me you believe me, show me a sign-
I know I don’t need to prove it to you,
But I will do what I need to do.
I pray…I love you more than mere words can simply say.
Please stay…I want you forever and not just today.
Don’t you know my world belongs to you?
I know that together we can see this through…
You were alone and at a loss for love, walking the road less traveled,
Living day to day to wait to fly away back home.
But your heart made a choice when you first heard my voice
And realized what good love could do,
And you set your heart on the one path that was true.
I know that you love me, you know I am yours.
Your love is the key that opens all the doors.
You know you don’t have to prove it to me
Because this love has set us free…
I pray…I love you more than mere words can simply say.
Please stay…I want you forever and not just today.
Don’t you know my world belongs to you?
I know that together we can see this through…
You and I were two planets orbiting the same sun.
Somehow after a sweet eclipse, we changed our courses and collided.
Sages and scholars all sought to discover how such love could remain undivided..
Our secret, still secure, stood straight from the fact that our love was never one-sided.
Stay
Thinking of you and the love I feel
Makes me wish I owned a heart of steel,
Because when you were gone, clouds covered the sun
And I wondered if I was the only one.
I loved you so much I wanted to shout,
And get away from those shadows of doubt.
For you had always been mine, always been true,
Always believed that we’d see it through.
But I got lost in my hurt feelings—
My suspicions of your dirty dealings—
So now I want to apologize, to say,
To ask: my love, will you stay?
Downrange
A vast variety of vibrancy and vigor,
The club scene is always getting better, bigger.
A myriad lights of gaudy pastels,
Fluorescent signs and vacant motels.
Open doors to dance floors grooving to the sound.
The lost and lonely drink with those too tightly wound.
Most drink for the buzz, not the flavor,
And watch the girls flow to the men they favor.
Some come as they are, others prepare
Some come to dance while others just stare.
All in all, they come to escape
In whatever manner, form, and/or shape.
Alleyways lead to forbidden pleasures.
The wise implement protective measures.
Around each corner you can expect a fight.
People watch their backs both day and at night.
Dark-eyed Asians parlay for their pay;
Fork up the cash, and maybe they’ll stay.
$2 a beer, $3 a shot, $10 a drink—
Vomit and smoke only add to the stink.
It’s a sprawl of both the decadent and new
Souped together in one psychedelic stew.
Behind all the glamour and alcohol-induced haze,
It’s easy to get lost in this subprimal maze.
The Price of Freedom
I’ve made my choice and I’ve chosen freedom
At the expense of my entire kingdom.
Autonomy and self-direction have cost me my past
But the future’s all mine and it’s coming fast.
I’m beginning anew, starting from scratch—
Picking up the pieces of pitch and patch.
I’m writing my own chapters, 1…2…3…
Exodus, then Genesis, “I am what I’ll be…”
The eyes of society, like justice, are blind.
They’re indifferent, uncaring, and bluntly unkind.
Alone in a world that consumes the weak,
I will stay strong when things seem bleak.
This road continues on, long past my vision.
There lies a crossroads for every decision.
My path climbs high, and the winds blow hard,
But the course is my own—I’ve played my own card.
So now I’m free, free to live!
To reap what I sow, not sow just to give!
Though I’ve lost my possessions, there’s still much I own,
For my dreams are yet mine, and they’re mine alone.
Extenuation and Mitigation
“I told them my story, but nobody listened.
So here I am, in prison, imprisoned…”
“Destruction of private property!? Let me appeal to this jury:
I was drunk and disorderly, but not guilty of forgery.
Look, this isn’t the crime of the century, so don’t
Add insult to injury and accuse me of perjury.
Like a rock these charges are set in stone,
But the facts—the truth—have yet to be shown.
I understand you can’t have freedom for free,
That one must follow rules to a degree,
But the rules are set for a certain way of life;
So what else could I do when they cut me like a knife?
Communicating a threat? I fail to see the crime—
I mean you hear it from everyone; we’re threatening all the time!
Absent without leave? Now that you can believe.
There was something important I was trying to achieve.
I was driven by necessity, a victim of circumstance.
And as you well know, it’s the music makes the dance.
So there I was, the dancer, absorbed by the sound.
I knew what I was doing, but not where I was bound.
So consider my words and listen to my story;
I do things for the principle and a little for the glory…
“So here I am, in prison, imprisoned.
I told them my story, but nobody listened.”
TH
Thinkers thread the theses of thorny theories.
They are the thoughts that thoroughly thwart the threat of thralldom.
Through thick and thin, thieves thirst for things to thieve.
We thrill at theaters, thunderstruck by the thespians theatrics,
Watching while Thor, with thew and theurgy,
Throws thunderbolts from thunderclouds
At a throng of thick-bodied thugs.
Thus, we thrive thanks to thrifty thoughtfullness,
And surpass thalassic thresholds.
Frozen in Time
Frozen in time and frozen in space,
It’s lack of motion keeps it in place.
Stationary and stagnant in a state of intraction,
Its stillness perpetuates its static inaction.
A random solar wind, just a cosmic breeze,
Disturbs its constant temperature of 0 K degrees.
A chemical reaction begins from deep within,
And bursts of burning brisance break through its cold black skin.
A stalwart sentry of sempiternal senescence,
It stands in silent solemnity.
Part III · The Des Moines / Post-Military Era (2000–2015)
Blind Love
I wake to an empty morning
Every breath is a sigh;
The wind is but a cry
Of an echo of defeat—
For I’d finished last
The light in my eyes is
But a shadow of the past
A lurid reflection of a sun
That once brought me day
My face is gray and pallid
As if formed from clay
And then I see her,
In my mind’s eye
My image of an angel.
I can only smile as I think of her,
My one true love, pure and free as a white-winged dove
When we were together
We’d watch the sun rise in baby blue skies
You were so quick to smile
We’d sit there a while
And I’d lose myself in you
I’ll always remember
You taught me we’re young no matter how old
To look for our rainbow and our pot of gold
You were there by my side
My friend and my guide
My love, I’ll never forget you
I can still feel your heat
Paradise was so sweet
For that’s what we’d shared
I can still taste your lips
We were quoting the scripts
From some tragic play
I can still hear your voice
Oh I made the wrong choice
When I let you leave
I can still smell your scent
But not where you went.
I still love you
With her shining face still bright in mind
I laugh to myself and feel for my cane
Such are the follies of one so blind
Who walks so sadly through unseen rain
Faithfully, Patiently
Oh, baby, I’m thinking of you
A fount for feelings so deep so true
Finding each other was a feat of fate
Let’s go, together, it’s never too late
So much more than a pretty face
Or willing body and warm embrace
Draped in rags or dressed in lace
You set an example of quiet grace
When I reach out to you with my mind
It’s no surprise that I come to find
That though miles lie between you and I
The distance means nothing…
Faithfully, patiently
Close your eyes and walk with me
We’ll visit paradise and call it home
Build our house in the pleasure dome
Tenderly, lovingly
Hold my hand and walk with me
We’ll visit paradise and call it home
Build our house in the pleasure dome
Oh, you know I love you so
And will always miss your perfect kiss
Your tender touch means so much
To me, the man your love set free
Don’t you cry over the heart you stole
‘Coz you filled the hole inside my soul
There’s no one, babe, who I need more
I’ll always be rich no matter how poor
When I search within that special place
I find your darling, smiling face
And though miles lie between you and I
The distance means nothing…
Faithfully, patiently
Close your eyes and walk with me
We’ll visit paradise and call it home
Build our house in the pleasure dome
Tenderly, lovingly
Hold my hand and walk with me
We’ll visit paradise and call it home
Build our house in the pleasure dome
We’ll dance in the misty moonlight
Lie in the dew-damp grass
We’ll stare at the stars not in the skies
But the stars within each others eyes.
Darling, I love you.
Inevitable Veritable Vestige
I am a man, shrouded…
But by what, I don’t know.
In love with love, with it’s mystery and thrill,
Sometimes I wonder if it’s from my heart or my will.
I think of her, too far, far away…
In a room with one light, as is mine.
And wonder: are there
More differences, or
More similarities, between
The two of us—
Who we are—
How we live—
What we aspire to be?
And all through the day…
And all through the night…
Through hours both sleeping and awake,
I remember her letter, and how her hand was shaking…
And wonder if that isn’t mine doing the same.
One more similarity.
Not voiced.
Just known.
But one thing I do see,
And I don’t know whether to
Embrace it or turn it away.
For although I recognize its grace,
I am not yet found.
If she can find me, perhaps I can find myself.
And maybe that is love.
But the sun will shine on me
Like it always does…
And the night will creep…
I will be like the sun. I will shine,
And only hope to be able to share
My warmth with her.
Umbral Silhouette
The image-inspired prophecy: sight undoing, sight undone.
The image inspired prophecy, one obscuring the sun.
Holding the mirror of her dreams in the palm of her hand,
Reflecting a kingdom—a castle built from sand—and
Demolished by a flood from a crack in black skies
That torrent of tears poured from her hazel eyes.
My heart did bear to hearken there,
Ere that baleful glare dare to darken.
Her soul so fair bid my love to flare,
And share with her my love of life.
I felt my mind yield to her shadow,
Transparent against that dark field.
But my spirit, yet free, did see she
Ceased to be sealed in such secrecy,
And knelt before her own, whereupon the two
Became one, and spawned a new sun.
A heart and mind united, two souls
Bonded and grounded in truth.
More than merely momentarily momentous,
More than a brief passing of passion,
A pithy, yet perfectly planned pair of promises
Were made from moral mortal mortar.
Realizing the future: the image-inspiring prophecy.
That suggestion of heaven, the image inspired prophecy.
The World Around Me
For some people there is nothing so magnificent
Than blood, sweat, and the cries of the innocent.
But I, I strive to suppress the violence,
The cacophony of slaughter and monotony of silence,
To shelter the unhomed and guide the lost,
And rescue the cold from the fatal frost.
But my efforts, they never seemed so hopeless
As I now look at the world around me.
Call me a shepherd caring for his sheep,
Or a singer of lullabies who puts the young to sleep.
Or see me as a sage who speaks words of wisdom
To ensure the prosperity of his clan and kingdom.
Praise me as your savior who brings salvation
Or declare me a demon, for I’m deep in despair
As I listen to the world around me.
Where are those who feel as I do,
Who know their hearts will lead them true?
Am I alone in the quest for good,
To ensure things are as they ought and should?
Because when I’m chastised for failing to succeed
In my constant struggle to do the good deed,
I can’t help but turn my back
On the dying world around me.
Questioning the Mark
She had an indefinable kind of beauty-
And yet an undeniable kind of beauty-
That set my heart and mind on fire.
I knew not which desire was stronger,
To possess her, or for she to possess me.
Was I to tell her she was delectably delicate,
An angel with the purest of purpose,
She would decry de trop!
And foreseeing foreshock,
I would demand détente!
I was sure that I cared for her:
To see her cry and hear her sigh,
Would bring a tear to my own eye.
Oh, too many things for me to list-
She held my heart in her fragile fist.
But while the sign shined clear,
Its message brought fear,
For there are two parts to love,
The part below and the part above,
And again I found myself questioning the mark.
Misidentifying misplaced identity,
I often catered to elusive illusion.
Perceptions of the mind often mirror those of the heart,
Meaning if one tends to be right, the other ends up being left.
Doubt is no more agonizing agnosticism than hesitation for healing.
The King
Three servants cared for their king
Who lay still on his bed.
The sweat of sickness was wet with a slickness
That reflected brightly upon his head.
They gave him water, they gave him food;
And into the hearth they added wood.
But the chill in the air was not from the cold
But from the old king whose own soul he had sold.
The king coughed weakly, spit glistened on his chin.
“My loyal servants, come listen!
I may now be dying, but I am not yet dead!
For gold and for silver much blood has been shed.
My soul is no more, my heart—it is stone.
My strength is but enough to lament what I’ve sown.”
The servants clasped his hands, one wiped his king’s face.
One said, “We are here, my Lord—we hear you, your grace.”
“So close to death, but still not too late—
To tell you how I’ve been fooled by fate!
This kingdom is built upon the sweat of slaves—
Whose masters were naught more than selfish knaves.
They worked for the whip, lived for the chain–
Suffered the sun and the pouring rain.
While the nobles, in inherited splendor,
Toasted with wine, enjoyed their meat tender.
And my father and I, as his father before him
Watched with a smile, over our own cup’s rim,
While our conquests abroad only brought in more slaves
To toil ’til their rest in unmarked graves.
“Yes, this is our legacy, the Realm of the Damned
Whose king is but a reflection of how it shall end.
As King I led my kingdom to greatness,
But I failed to bring its people along.
And that, you see, has been its weakness—
That was where I’d done great wrong.”
A cough shook the king, and his veins grew taut.
He choked out a sentence, his one final thought.
“All people are born free! Let it be as it aught.”
OHM’S LAW OF LOVE
I once read that confusion leads to defeat;
So far I have yet to find delusion so complete,
But my mind cries out in pain
As I wander through the rain
That pours so heavily upon my heart.
This storm, unlike others, is always the same.
Its winds are too wild for I alone to tame.
To navigate this squall I’ll need your assistance
Because greater current generates greater resistance
In this phenomenon known as love.
So please help me. Help me now.
We can keep afloat this boat’s bow.
And don’t jump ship when things get rough,
For if you do it will be too tough
For me to manage this alone.
Reflect
Footfalls echo off the asphalt.
The moon is hidden behind clouds so thick
Even they are invisible.
The stars beyond shine unseen, oblivious to the
Activity beneath their celestial realm.
Birds are disturbed by noises barely heard by their sources,
And express their dismay by flying frantically around
Their perches until returning to their rest moments later,
The recent intrusions already forgotten.
Black ice invites peril to the unwary, and the
White snow-covered land seems to glow of its own accord.
The font of every sound reveals itself to the
Discerning observer, and even time itself
Slows to a deathly cadence.
The wind is surrealistic, profoundly tangible to my ears,
Wounding them with its harsh bite and bellow.
My mind wanders beyond the limits of my body,
Traveling the realms through time,
Bringing back with it images from my past:
The scents and sensations of experience,
Where innocence tarnished and guilt
Took its first breath of air and exhaled foulness,
To eventually be cleansed by someone’s forgiveness
And another’s forgetfulness.
Someone’s smile and another’s tears.
Both helped birth new hopes and new fears.
Laughter and pain, the proud and insane.
Where are the tears when you cry in the rain?
Six shots and five beers, the tumultuous cheers,
Inmates in prison who might once have been peers.
Didactic commissars, stools to their own rules,
Just like the liar who feeds his own fire
While fighting the blaze; and amazed by the haze
In the maze of his ways wanders lost in his own wonder.
When will you take that step that will trigger the mine?
When the tell-tale click gives you a moment
Of eternity to appraise your life and
Decide if you played it or it played you?
Trials of Love
Not you, not I, (neither of us) know
How deep the feelings between us go.
But if you, and I, (both of us) don’t try
We will share our final goodbye.
My love, it all started with a smile.
It wasn’t form follows function but function follows style.
And I, I wanted so little from you,
Because I didn’t expect your love to be true.
We’re sailing a sea of uncertain boundary,
Making our way ‘round the shore of insanity.
Why are we using the stars for our charts
When we should find the charts in our hearts?
You told me your dreams, whispered your desires.
I showed you my designs and the forge’s fires.
We talked about the future and what we would find,
And discovered we both were two of one kind.
My love, it all started with a smile.
It wasn’t form follows function but function follows style.
And I, I wanted so little from you,
Because I didn’t expect your love to be true.
Now we’re close, but not close enough.
You are still scared but you try to be tough.
I understand we need to give “us” more time,
So how about we find which key is prime.
Untitled (for Bluelight member)
I only opened my eyes to close them again.
Morning again, and then again, and then again.
I’m sleeping on the wall, and then
Again, I opened my eyes, and when
I did, I saw things differently.